The Days and Nights of Catherine Evermore

I won’t say that the form of cancer I had will never come back, but after six rounds of a very aggressive form of chemo and four PET scans my prognosis is very good.

In fact, I won’t see the doctor until the end of October, my port will be removed in the next few weeks, and a CT scan will be done in six months.

That’s a whole lot of grateful, thankful, and Praise God from where I’m sitting.

Life is truly good!

Catherine

© Catherine Evermore. All rights reserved.

Six months ago, I had long blond hair. Today I am bald.

Just before I started chemo, I had my hair cut short. Less than two weeks later, right after my first chemo treatment, it started to fall out. It started coming out in clumps, so I got a buzz cut that was actually quite cute. Within days what little hair that was left fell out.

That was before I lost my eyebrows and long eyelashes.

When I go outside, I wear a scarf or a cap. When I’m inside, I take it off. Lately, I’ve been removing whatever is covering my bald head while inside a store. Most always while at the cancer center.

I walk with a cane because of poor balance. The state handicapped sticker on my car is temporary, but it is a huge help when I go to the store.

I look at myself in the mirror and barely recognize myself. I know. I know. It’s just hair and it will grow back. This is true. I’m not that vain. However, it is difficult to see how I look today compared to six months ago.

We won’t talk about the weight loss. Nearly 30 lbs. to date.

We won’t talk about the numbness in my fingers and toes.

We won’t talk about the eye floaters that popped up on the day of chemo #5.

We won’t talk about the constant lack of energy and inability to sleep more than 2 or 3 hours at a time.

What I want to focus on are the results of my last two PET scans. No visible signs of cancer. My next PET will be week after next. I’m praying for the same results. No visible signs of cancer.

I have completed six rounds of the most intense chemo known to man. It has killed off everything – good and bad. Every 21 days I have spent hours at the cancer center hooked up to all kinds of infusions. The port in my chest has been a lifesaver.

Every Monday, I have shown up for lab work. The week after chemo is the most difficult because the results are very low. I’m sick for at least 10 days and slowly regain some strength. Food tastes like metal so I don’t eat much. I call these days the 10 days from hell. They are.

It is now time to move on to the next phase of this journey. In just a couple of weeks, after my next PET scan, I will meet with my doctor and she will lay out a plan of action for the next several months that will probably then become the next several years.

I know that it will take time for certain side effects to go away and even longer for my hair to grow back. The numbness in my fingers and toes may never go away. There is no guarantee.

As difficult as it has been going through chemo … and there have been times when I wanted to give up … the support that I have received from family, friends, and the cancer center got me to where I am today.

There are no words for the sense of gratitude that I am feeling today.

Catherine

© Catherine Evermore. All rights reserved.

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”
~Leo Buscaglia

Many of us remember the Vietnam War (Vietnam “Conflict” as it once was called). I certainly do, but at the time it was a war that we watched at night while eating dinner in the family room.

The TV was always turned off if we were eating dinner at the dining room table. That time was reserved for family discussions. My parents did not object to us having spirited discussions during dinner in the dining room, but we were not going to have them with the TV blaring in the background.

I don’t remember our conversations about Vietnam, but I feel certain we had them.

After high school, my boyfriend and I went to different colleges. The war was still going on at that time, and former classmates were enlisting in the military, some were drafted, and a few went to Canada or so I was told much later. There were those who came home wounded for life, while others came home in body bags.

My boyfriend enrolled in the Army ROTC program, but he was never called for active duty because of injuries he received after four years of college football. He went to law school, instead. Still, the war raged on.

Years later, I met the man who I thought I would marry. He had fought in Vietnam. We talked about the war and his tours of duty. What become apparent, as time went by, was that he was not a well man. He became violent and abusive; jealous and possessive; confrontational and frightening. We never married.

Fast forward … (which has nothing to do with Vietnam)

What I have discovered on this latest journey of my life is the kindness of strangers and people with good hearts and souls … those who look beyond the flaws and extend hands of friendship. I pray that I can give back an ounce of what they have given to me.

© Catherine Evermore. All rights reserved.