The Days and Nights of Catherine Evermore

“The earth laughs in flowers.”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

One of the things that I love best about my family is that we always find something to laugh about. People probably think we are insane because it doesn’t take much to get us going.

There is something about laughing until tears are streaming down your face, and you can’t catch your breath, that is absolutely wonderful.

Laughter is contagious, infectious … one of those “ious’s.” I would rather be stupid in love and full of laughter than all serious and uptight any day of the week. Trust me, I’ve experienced both.

Probably the most embarrassing time to laugh is during a funeral. That happened, just once, and never again. It was my first funeral … a dear friend had passed away. It took two stiff drinks just to go to the viewing, also a first. Somehow, I knew that showing up at the service with liquor on my breath would have been frowned upon.

I can’t remember what it was that set me off, but suddenly I was choking back what could have been called “polite” laughter, if there is such a thing.

Finally, I had to go outside. Someone followed me because he thought I was crying, and once outside, the laughter came out and I couldn’t stop. It was terrible. He looked at me as if I had lost my ever-loving mind, which was entirely possible.

The only other time I nearly laughed in church was when a friend invited me to attend her church. I totally respect a person’s faith, no matter what it might be, but nothing had me prepared for the Holy Rollers.

I remember praying to God to please get me out of the church, and I would never visit ever again. I kept my promise.

The last time I saw my friend, she was face down on the carpet speaking in a language I had never heard before. We never discussed what happened, and I’m pretty sure our friendship faded away.

So, dear reader, keep smiling and don’t forget to laugh … especially at yourself.

© Catherine Evermore. All rights reserved.

to all you sinners
at the bottom of the stairs
saint peter is waiting
at the top of the stairs
i’m one of those sinners
at the bottom of the stairs
thinkin’ i’m not ready
to climb up these stairs
no lord i’m not ready
to meet the man
the man who stands
with outstretched hands
the man who’s calling
from the top of the stairs
to all us sinners
at the bottom of the stairs
can we hear a hallelujah
from the bottom of the stairs
can you say hallelujah
can you say hallelujah
let’s hear a hallelujah
from the brothers and sister
sat the bottom of the stairs
can you try your best
to climb these stairs
can we meet each other
at the middle of the stairs
let’s all get moving
from the bottom of the stairs
amen and amen

© Catherine Evermore. All rights reserved.

Darlin’, here is the list of things you will need when you take up Boat Rowing 101:

A lake
A boat
Two oars
A life jacket
Sunglasses
Sunscreen
A hat
Binoculars
Reading glasses placed inside a Ziploc bag
Cushions to be used as flotation devices in case you capsize the boat
A map
A compass in case the map gets wet when you capsize the boat
A Styrofoam cooler with lots of ice
Canned drinks and bottled water
Snack food placed inside a Ziploc bag
Flares in case you capsize the boat at night
Walkie-talkie or cell phone placed inside a Ziploc bag
Instructions on how to row a boat

These are the things I will need:

A big Adirondack chair with soft cushions set up outside under a big oak tree
A footstool with a soft cushion
A tall glass of iced tea with a slice of lemon on the rim and a straw
A big bowl of popcorn with just a hint of Land O’ Lakes melted butter
Soft music and my favorite book
Binoculars to watch you as you learn how to row your boat

© Catherine Evermore. All rights reserved.

Just my luck!

Three weeks ago, I was vaccinated with the Johnson & Johnson COVID-19 vaccine. Today, I am still not myself.

Today, the vaccine has been put on “pause” because six women developed blood clots; one died and one is in serious condition.

I have headaches each day, fog-brain, upset tummy, severe lack of energy, and an overall feeling of not feeling well.

Should I blame the vaccine or should I blame a bad heart and getting older each day?

I don’t know but I will ask my doctor this week when I see him for a routine cardio visit.

In the meantime, I’m still wearing a mask when I go out (which is rare these days), plastic gloves, and I’m keeping my distance.

It’s surprising how many people are not wearing masks in stores even though stores have signs posted to wear masks.

I give up!

~Catherine

A couple of days ago, I got a COVID vaccine shot. It was the Johnson & Johnson one shot and you’re done version.

Today, I’m sick as a dog.

How long will this last?

Some people have said 12 hours (we are long past 12 hours).

Others have said 24 hours (we are long past 24 hours).

I passed the 48 hour rule wondering if I made a huge mistake by getting the vaccine shot in the first place.

My history with shots has not been all that good. In fact, I’ve not had a flu shot in close to 30 years because the last time I had a flu shot I ended up at the ER with pneumonia.

My sibling says I’m “fragile.” I say this is just how God made me.

So, today I’m going to try and stay awake until a nap is needed. Maybe I’m over the hump; maybe not. Time will tell.

~Catherine

Many, many, far too many years ago during the hottest month of the year, I stopped by my local grocery store to pick up a few things on my way home from a long, long, far too long day at work.

The parking lot was full. You could smell the heat coming off of the pavement. People walking to and from their cars were not smiling.

It was a miserable day.

Once inside the store, the cool air was ever so refreshing. As I walked up and down the aisles, people appeared to be a bit happier. Some even smiled.

That’s when I saw him. A man. Holding a small shopping basket. He was not wearing a shirt.

A shirtless man was in the grocery store shopping without a shirt!

Holy cow!

Holy cow!

To be honest, I might not have said “Holy cow!” and maybe it was more like “What the fuck!”.

As I was ready to check out (in more ways than one), I asked the cashier if I could see the manager. She paged him. Our conversation went something like this …

Me: “There is a man in the store, and he’s not wearing a shirt.”

Manager: “I know. He just wanted to pick up a few things, and he said he was hot.”

Me: “Well, I’m hot, too, so maybe I should take off my blouse.”

Manager: “No! Don’t do that and I will ask him to leave.”

Once outside with my groceries, I saw “shirtless man” standing next to his car putting on his shirt.

I seem to recall the store manager was not around for very long … something about transferring to another store.

© Catherine Evermore. All rights reserved.

One of the most heartwarming sights I have ever seen happened in my own backyard. On a rare cool autumn morning, quite a few years ago, I was sitting upstairs on the porch, enjoying a cup of coffee while reading the Sunday newspaper, when something below caught my eye. There, popping out of a rather tall bush, were three little birds. I didn’t pay close attention to the birds as they seemed perfectly content to be perched on top of the bush. It wasn’t until I heard what had to be the mother bird chattering and saw the reaction of the small birds that I realized what was about to happen. These darling baby birds were about to learn how to fly.

With that, I started to watch them very quietly so as not to frighten them. At first, all they could do was stand on top of the bush flapping their little wings like crazy. The mother bird started swooping down from an oak tree several feet away, landing on the ground, and then flying back up to a low branch on the tree. She did this over and over again, and each time the little birds would start to flap their tiny wings with all their might, and each time they didn’t go anywhere.

I was totally and completely mesmerized by this beautiful act of nature. The mother bird (and I suspect Papa was up in the tree) was very patient with her babies, and they were quite eager to take flight. This lesson went on for at least 30 minutes, until one by one they were airborne long enough to fly off the bush and land on the ground. They seemed stunned by what they had just done. These precious little birds had just completed their first flying lesson. Mom was clearly pleased, and then I heard other birds joining in the chatter. It was as if they were rejoicing in the little ones learning how to use their wings.

I wanted to applaud but didn’t for fear of frightening them. The sight I had just witnessed was amazing, and, if the truth be known, it brought a few tears to my eyes.

The little birds (still on the ground) once again began to flap their tiny wings, but that was all the flying they were going to do for that day. Mom landed on the ground next to them, and one by one they hopped back to the big bush that had protected their nest and kept them hidden from harm. As they settled down, I didn’t realize that would be the last time I would see them.

The next day was a workday so I didn’t get to watch for more activity until I got home. However, I watched the bush each afternoon, looking for signs of the little birds. Other than a few bird chirps and rustles in the bush, there wasn’t any other activity. After a couple of weeks, they were gone. I had missed their final flight and always wondered about their destination. My biggest regret was that I didn’t have a camera to capture the tender moments of their flying lessons.

The bush is still there, only now it’s much bigger, and from time to time I see the leaves rustle and wonder what new family has taken up residency. Nothing, however, will ever compare to watching those three baby birds on that cool autumn morning as they learned how to fly.

© Catherine Evermore. All rights reserved.