My friend asked me how I am doing in my new role as a cancer survivor. Good question. Thankful and grateful certainly comes to mind.
Each day is different. There are days when I feel full of energy that might last through the morning. On these days, I do early morning errands and return home before noon. I rarely go out in the afternoon.
There are days when I have no energy at all, so I stay inside and watch old TV shows, movies, or read a book. Sometimes I take a nap.
Yesterday, I weighted myself and I’ve lost 35 lbs. since March (when I started chemo). Because I don’t exercise on a daily basis, on the days that I make it to Target I do a few laps around the store. It’s been too hot to walk outside as I have to wear something on my head, long sleeves and pants. I refuse to wear socks now that I’m no longer going for chemo.
I’m still using a cane for balance.
Food is of little interest. I’m a terrible cook. Seriously. I am. Some foods still have no taste while other foods are tolerable. For the longest time everything tasted like metal. Now it just tastes blah.
I’m alive. I have the normal fears that the cancer might return. Today, I have a sore throat, so I’m constantly checking for swelling on the side of my neck. That’s how I found out I had cancer. A lump.
My hair is trying to come back but it looks more like baby hair than anything else. I wonder what it will look like when it completely grows out? It doesn’t look like I’m going to be a redhead (not that I ever was).
So, that’s where I am today. Alive. Cancer free. Thankful. Loving and loved.
~Catherine
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